Hey there!

I almost didn’t write this. Not because I didn’t have something to say, but because I wasn’t sure I had the strength to say it out loud.

A few days ago, I was aimlessly strolling on IG when I read an author’s post about being tired. I DM’ed her and she was basically going through a semblance of the same thing I struggle with sometimes…burnout. Coupled with trying to create while grieving. You see I lost my mother about two and a half years ago, she just recently lost hers…but grief is the price of love, and it doesn’t make an appointment to visit you.

Anyway, I’ve been on this author journey for over a decade and decided to share what a lot of people do not talk about. Especially Christian authors…being weary. This is permission to stop pretending that the calling isn’t heavy. Even seasoned creators want to walk off the field. In my case 30 books and hopefully counting, yeah, the beast still bites.

Lately, I’ve felt like I’ve been running a race with no finish line in sight. After years of pouring my heart into stories, there are still days when the words don’t come easily. When I look at ten days of effort and one single book sale and think, “Am I just whispering into the void while everyone else is out there screaming and somehow winning?” Does any of it matter?

Now, of course I know the answer to that, but walk with me…It’s not that I think I’m owed fame or fortune. (Okay, maybe a little fortune. I wouldn’t mind a huge influencer or celeb declaring one of my books “underrated and life-changing.”) But when you’ve been faithful, consistent, creative, obedient, and the results still feel like they’re trickling in slower than dial-up internet? Like AOL, you feel me or am I showing my age? Anyway, it’s hard not to feel a little… forgotten. Or invisible. Or both.

I’ve questioned my faith… (doubting isn’t the end of belief. It’s just part of the conversation. Even David asked questions when he was on the run…read Psalms) I’ve cried, quietly, in the dim light of a laptop screen. I’ve had moments, yeah, plural with an ‘s”, where quitting didn’t sound weak, it sounded merciful.

But here’s the thing, even when I feel like packing it up, a little voice still says, “Not yet.”

It’s not always divine thunder from the clouds. That’s the writer talking cos I’ve never had any message from a thunderclap…. But I digress, it’s smaller. A message from a reader who needed a character I almost deleted. A line from a devotional that lands harder than expected. A late-night journal entry where I realize I still love this work. Creating soul stirring stories of Black trauma free love whilst sharing my faith and immersing my readers in the rich culture of Africa…even when it doesn’t love me back the way I want it to.

So, if you’re tired too. Maybe staring at a blank page of your calling, or any reason other than you need to sleep, wondering if it’s time to quit…just know it’s okay to feel weary. That doesn’t disqualify you. It doesn’t make you less faithful. It makes you real. Just do not give in to the weariness. If you need to step back, do that. But don’t step out.

And yes, growth feels slow. Painfully slow. But maybe that’s because we’re still in the middle of the story. Maybe we haven’t seen the full arc yet. Maybe we’re in the hard chapter that builds the strength for the breakthrough. And maybe that doesn’t feel like enough right now, but it is enough to keep going. God doesn’t measure time like we do.

This chapter feels heavy. But the story’s not over yet.

If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your heart. Drop a comment, send a message, or share this post with someone who might be carrying their own heavy chapter right now. You’re not alone in this. And neither am I.

Until next time,

Peace & Blessing,

Unoma.

This post is dedicated to Tope Omotosho