Tag Archives: sons of ishmael

Men At Work: An Unbalanced Work Life

Hey there! This is Unoma. Happy Labor Day… most are off in the US but today I want to start our Men At Work discussion with the Danjuma brothers. Oh by the way, did you catch Mrs. Danjuma’s features last week? If you didn’t just go to the home page and access them, Today we’re talking to Rasheed Danjuma. The day his father walked out of their lives, Rasheed swore to himself that failure would never be an option. His number one goal was to prove to his dad that he was capable of being something and taking care of his mother and brother by himself. Now let’s read his own words. Did he let that desire consume him?

****************************************************************

Hello Everyone, this is Rasheed or Stone Cold as my nutty brothers like to call me. Thank you to Unoma & all the readers who have supported us during this journey. Baring our souls and telling our stories isn’t something that came easy. However, since my pops( it feels weird calling him that. For so long I’ve called him “the one who contributed to my genetic make up) decided to disturb my life in London by dying and summoning me back home, I was game for Unoma writing our stories.

Today, I’ve been told to talk about how the absence of my pops affected the way I work. You’ve read my story, you know growing up without a father had a huge impact on me. What? Wait…you haven’t read the story? Why. It’s $1.99 I know you can afford that so just click here and get your copy.

I’m the first son as you know and in any African culture especially Nigeria where we are from, that’s a serious role. Even if your father is with you, you still have responsibilities. With mine gone, I felt the pressure. He was a coward when he cracked and left us and I was determined not to do the same. That determination was the sole driver behind my unbalanced life.

Obiageli Danjuma looked at her son.“Who are you deceiving_ Your family isn_t the only reason you decided to stay in Nigeria. I have Ibiso to thank for that.” 
She paused  for a

The betrayal, rage and hurt I felt, drove my desire to be better than my pops. But then that desire became toxic. Nothing else mattered. Despite what my brothers thought, I had lady friends but they were far and few in between. Love was taboo for me, look what it did to my mom. So no, I wanted none of it. I lived an unbalanced life married to my desire to succeed.

So what is success? Before I speak on that, let me tell you some of the lessons I’ve learnt:

  • Your past has the ability to mold you. You have to make sure it’s molding you the right way. Use God’s Word as a road map.
  • Motives for Success. The Bible talks about the motive behind our actions. Make sure yours do not have its root in “self”.
  • This is a practical tip…when “busy” gets in the way, reflect on your core values, then create reoccurring time blocks around them. That way nothing suffers.

I will leave you with a few of my favorite quotes. My wife put them in a frame in my home office. You remember how I almost lost her? That same toxic desire reared its head and nearly cost me dearly.

Balance is not better time management, but better boundary management. Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices.
Betsy Jacobson

We have overstretched our personal boundaries and forgotten that true happiness comes from living an authentic life fueled with a sense of purpose and balance.
Dr. Kathleen Hall

Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.
Stephen R Covey

When King David was about to die, this was the advice he gave is son, “Do what the LORD your God commands and follow his teachings. Obey everything written in the Law of Moses. Then you will be a success, no matter what you do or where you go” (1 Kings 2:3)

That my friends is the true foundation of success.

Rasheed Danjuma

 

 

 

Advertisements

5 Tips for Overcoming Loss & Loneliness by Obiageli Danjuma

Ndewo nu! I’m back again o.. Today, I’m talking about how I overcame loneliness and loss. If you didn’t read my post Monday, you can check it out

God didn’t create man to be alone. He looked at Adam and determined there it is not good for him to be alone. He has instilled in each of us a desire to be loved and have connections to another human being. When that need that was created by God’s design is not fulfilled, we become unhappy.

Why do people have the notion that when you’re a believer, you have to be “on” all the time. We Christians suffer from depression and loneliness too. I suffered from it. My 10 year attachment to my husband was snatched away from me and left me void. I had no family in London, no real friends so yes I loved Jesus but I was unhappy. I was hurt, pained and angry.

The difference however between a believer and a non believer is that we know that the solution to all our issues lay on the cross. (Disclaimer: If you’re suffering from clinical depression or any other mental disorders please see a medical professional) One relationship should trump all relationships and that’s the one we have with our personal Savior, Jesus Christ. Once we have accepted His abundant life in our hearts. we can take practical steps to work on us.

Copy of I did the best I could with 3 boys. My only regret is exposing them to too much.I worried about them, until they met these women I know call my daughters(2)

Here is what I did:

  1. I accepted I had an issue. God can’t do anything with who I pretended to be. I approached the throne and told Him what He already knew. I was broken and needed help.
  2. I accepted what I couldn’t change. I couldn’t make Zayd  come back to me. So it was time to move on. I had boys to raise.
  3. I changed what I could. I moved myself and the boys from West London to East London. A fresh start in a new environment.
  4. I joined a new church, meditated on the Word day and night. I also took up a new hobby: Clothing designs. That worked out because Rasheed opened a boutique for me in Abuja 🙂
  5. I made new friends. One was Tega’s mother, Victoria. You see, we worked the night shift in my new job then together. Her husband was deceased, while mine walked out but we both experienced loss. You’ll read about Tega in Kamal’s book.

Loneliness can be overcome but it starts with a renewed mind that is determined to break from its grip. Ask God for the courage to try new things and trust that His will is always perfect for you.

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead Philippians 3:13

Obiageli.

Hey y’all this is Unoma. I trust you’re enjoying this time with Mama D. She’ll be back on Friday. Don’t forget to get the series as it is currently on sale. You can order here

Blessing

Unoma